


to look ahead to what would be

by fifteen_half



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fifteen_half/pseuds/fifteen_half
Summary: When Jaemin returns after a year and a half of therapy, everyone thinks he's grown up to be quite a handsome boy. He's the talk of the town, the new enemy of high school boys, the subject of all giggling and stares at school.Everyone thinks he's handsome. Everyone, that is, except for Jeno.OR: The times Jeno is confused why people think Jaemin is handsome, cause he's not. He's not! And the one time he realizes it and confesses.ALSO: a silly thing i thought of cause i was bored and because chenle keeps on saying that jaemin is handsome XD





	to look ahead to what would be

The moment his best friend sat beside him, the rest of the table fell silent.

Looking at his friends in confusion, Jeno had the audacity to ask, “What?”

“I guess… birds of a feather do flock together?” said Mark, still looking a bit awestruck.

Donghyuck pouted, “I always wondered how he looked like, but then I guess I should’ve expected this.”

“I think it’s unfair,” Renjun complained, “Handsome guy’s best friend is also handsome? It’s not supposed to be this way!”

At that point, Jaemin laughed, “Me? Handsome? Is this your roundabout way of making me pay for this meal? Shall I cook for you guys too?”

“Hyung can also cook?!” Chenle yelled, excited, “This is awesome! Only Haechan hyung can cook and he only cooks for Mark hyung. What’s your specialty, Jaemin hyung? Can we come over to your house tomorrow?”

“I mean, if you want to get your cheeks pinched as payment, then go ahead,” muttered Jisung, “I, for one, do not miss it!”

Except Jisung spent most of his childhood under the wings of Jaemin and so Jaemin simply ignored Jisung’s grumble and carelessly threw his arms around the youngest boy.

“Awww! Is my Jisungie all grown up? No need for Nana hyung to hold his hand and defend him from bullies?”

“Oh my god stop it, hyung! Jeno hyung help!”

As his friends accepted Jaemin into their tightly knight circle as if he were there from the beginning, Jeno completely forgot about his friends’ initial reactions to his recently returned best friend.

To Jeno, nothing really changed about Jaemin, personality-wise or appearance-wise. Sure he was a bit more mature, a bit more subdued and quiet, but the traits that made Jaemin  _ Jaemin _ were still there: he was still incredibly kind, still incredibly compassionate and gentle and still incredibly unexpected. There was never a dull moment with Jaemin around.

And though they spent a year and a half apart, Jeno didn’t really feel anything had changed all that much with his best friend. A little taller, sure. He was still pretty skinny, though Jeno could see that his friend has been working out. His face was sharper, more defined, but his eyes were still the same soft, gentle ones they had been when they were kids. When they were young and when Doyoung, his elder brother, would become exasperated at their antics, he would yell at Jeno and his ‘goofy looking friend’ because Jaemin was a goofy looking kid and even now was a goofy looking teenager.

So when everyone was at their homes, getting ready for bed, and when Jeno finally remembered to ask his friends if adding Jaemin into the group chat was okay, he was surprised when Chenle said:

 

**dolphin:** oh man jaemin hyung is really handsome! like reaaaaaaally handsome! i can’t believe you call him goofy looking, hyung! the only goofy looking one here is jisung!

**jwitol:** YAH ZHONG CHENLE!

**dolphin:** but it’s true though? i don’t lie!

 

Granted, his best friend was good-looking but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, right? Jaemin was just a normal-looking guy. Both of them were.

Right?

 

  
  


 

On their first day of classes with Jaemin back, both of them now in highschool, Jeno picked up his friend like usual. Jisung tagged along like usual, and like usual, Jaemin was attempting to smother Jisung with affection. Unlike usual though, Jisung wasn’t having any of it.

“Yah, hyung! I’m not ten years old anymore! Stop it!”

“But Jisungie~ You’re still my baby! You’ll always be my baby!”

Amidst the ruckus of his friends, Jeno barely noticed their surroundings. It was only when Jisung pointed it out that he did.

“People are staring, hyung. So cut it out, please! I hate attention.”

Jeno heard the whisperings then.

_“Those boys sure are a handsome bunch. I wish my sons were as good-looking.”_

_“The tallest one looks so young, though.”_

_“He’s like a chick! A chick with his mother hen! Soooo cute!”_

_“The one with dark hair looks so cold at first. But did you see his eyes when he smiled? And that beauty mark! I wish I had one too!”_

_“He looks so serious but he actually looks really kind when he smiles!”_

_“And gorgeous. He must be a noona-killer!”_

_“If anyone’s a noona-killer, wouldn’t it be the boy with the amber hair?”_

Jeno usually ignored whisperings like this, but at the mention of his best friend, he couldn’t help but listen closely.

_“I know what you mean. Those big, doe eyes, that beautiful smile, and the way his lips curve just so like he’s thinking of something mischievous.”_

_ “He’s beautiful, that one. And really, really dangerous. I think I nearly had a heart attack when our eyes accidentally met and he smiled at me like he  knew what I was thinking! That cheeky boy!” _

Jeno couldn’t help but snort in amusement.

These people clearly didn’t know what they were talking about!

Jaemin? A noona-killer? Since when?!

 

 

 

It didn’t even take the whole week before rumors of his best friend spread throughout the school.

Taking advantage of Jaemin being held back by teachers during lunch, Jeno immediately asked his friends, “He isn’t gonna get called out at the back of the school and get lynched, right? He hasn’t even done anything wrong!”

Renjun, Mark and Donghyuck all looked him like he’d grown another head.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Donghyuck asked.

“Jaemin! I hear his name being mentioned in the hallways all the time! Do you guys know anything about this? Did he fight with someone and just didn’t tell me?”

“What?” Mark said as Renjun boldly declared, “You’re an idiot, Lee Jeno.”

“I’m serious, guys! What if he’s in trouble? He can’t get into fights or he’ll hurt his back again!”

As Mark guffawed in laughter and Donghyuck dragged his hands over his face in exasperation, Renjun groaned, “Like I said, you’re an idiot. Jaemin isn’t in trouble! Or well, not the trouble you’re thinking of. He’s just becoming popular. Like you are.”

This time, it was Jeno who was confused, “What?”

“People talk a lot about you too, Lee Jeno. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed!” Renjun cried, unable to believe that his friend could be so oblivious.

“It’s not that he hasn’t noticed,” Mark informed them, “It’s just he completely ignores it.”

“Wait, what? I know people talk a lot about Mark hyung because he’s student council president slash captain of the basketball team slash underground rapper. But I’m just one of the players, so I doubt that’s it. So why would people talk about me?”

“Because you’re handsome, Jeno! Do we really have to spell it out for you?!” Donghyuck hissed.

“Well that’s just stupid,” Jeno replied, as if it was ingrained in him to ignore compliments about his looks.

Snickering into his salad, Mark reiterated, “Like I said.”

Ignoring Mark, Jeno ploughed on, “So what about Jaemin? Why are people talking about him?”

“What about Jaemin?”

“It’s only been a few days! I don’t think he’s done anything significant except to say cheesy stuff to every single person he meets.”

“Yep, exactly!” Donghyuck agreed, raising his chopsticks, “That is exactly the reason why! And his face. His stupid fucking face and his stupid good looks I can’t believe I’m friends with another one like you _uuugh_.”

“But how is that significant? It’s more annoying than anything if you ask me.”

“That’s it! I give up!” Donghyuck yelled.

“Listen to me, Jeno ya, cause I’m only gonna say this once,” Mark said, “Jaemin is handsome. Like seriously handsome. But not only is he handsome, he’s charming too and has a way with words that just gets to you, you know? Like reaaaally gets to you. His words shoot straight to a girls heart, you know? Like shoot, baam! All of them, dead. All because of a cheeky grin and those cheesy words. Do you get it now?”

Jeno looked like he got it for a second, before he frowned and said, “No.”

As his friends all rolled their eyes at him, Jeno said again, “Seriously, guys! I don’t get it! I really, really don’t!”

 

 

 

Months after Jaemin’s return, the whispers still wouldn’t stop.

“Jaemin ah, have you pissed off anyone recently?”

Jaemin looked at Jeno in surprise. Then he thought about it and said, “None that I could think of except maybe you.” Laughing at Jeno’s offended expression, Jaemin said, “You’re still so easy to rile up, Jeno ya!”

“Nana, come on! I’m trying to be serious here!”

Still chuckling, but unable to deny Jeno of anything, Jaemin replied, “There have been a sunbae or two who came to me and told me off.”

At Jeno’s rising worry, Jaemin hurriedly added, “But it’s fine now! It was all just a misunderstanding. They thought I was interested in their girlfriends but I’m not.”

“Oh. Yeah. Some guys used to come to me too because of that.”

Jaemin laughed, “Us handsome guys really have it rough sometimes.”

“You? Handsome?” Jeno scoffed, “Since when? You’re still goofy-looking to me!”

Instead of getting offended like Jeno expected, Jaemin simply smiled widely at him and said, “That’s why I like you the best!”

And while Jaemin’s declarations of love wasn’t anything new to Jeno, something about the way Jaemin said it was different.

Jeno didn’t notice it at the beginning, too overwhelmed with relief that his best friend was back, that they were together again, that Jaemin was here to stay, but there were a lot of things that was different with Jaemin. Mischief still swam in his eyes but there was maturity there too, a kind of wisdom that showed itself whenever things got tough, that wasn’t there before. He was still as loud as before, but his loudness was directed, controlled, was there as if to ensure that there were no awkward moments, was there to make everyone around him comfortable, relaxed. And for some reason, even though they were still the same height, Jaemin seemed bigger. Perhaps it was in the way he held himself, with his head held high, his back straight, his gaze confident and sure.

Perhaps the whisperings were on to something after all.

“Hey, you’re zoning out on me again, Jeno. What’s up?”

As if waking up from a trance, Jeno blinked.

Maybe it wasn’t the way Jaemin said it that was different.

Maybe there was something different with Jeno himself.

 

 

 

Jeno kept on mulling over it for months and would have kept on mulling over it had it not been for Huang Renjun.

“You’re an idiot, Lee Jeno.”

In response, Jeno hid himself further under the covers, “We’ve already established that fact. Go away, Renjun.”

Instead of going away, Jeno felt his bed dip and, for the first time in life, heard Renjun gently,  _ gently _ say, “You’re being an idiot, Lee Jeno. He misses you. We all do.”

And because Jeno was getting tired of this, tired of hiding, tired of running away, he whispered, “I’m scared, Renjun ah."

"Of?" Renjun urged, his voice still soft, still gentle, assuring his friend that there would be no judgement, no reprimand.

"Of Jaemin," Jeno confessed, "What if he doesn’t like me back?”

Renjun really, really, _really_ wanted to hit his friend because even he himself, who knew Jaemin far less than Jeno, could clearly see how much Jeno meant to the other boy. It was in the way Jaemin smiled at Jeno, a special smile just for him. The way Jaemin always made sure Jeno was comfortable, was never in an awkward situation, was always ready to defend him without making it seem like it. The way Jaemin  _understood_ Jeno like no one else could. And the way Jeno made Jaemin _happy_ like no one else could.

Knowing Jeno though, and sensing how much turmoil his friend was in, Renjun softened his tone as he said, “I know how scary it is. I’ve confessed my feelings before too, remember? And while it is scary to lose someone because of it… think about it, Jeno. Aren’t you already losing him because of this?”

Jeno didn’t reply for a while but slowly, he sat up, faced Renjun and smiled sadly at his friend.

“Sorry for worrying you.”

Renjun shook his head, “Going all silent on us. Cancelling out on us with stupid reasons. Avoiding us during lunch. Be glad that we like you too much or else we would’ve kicked you out a long time ago, drama queen.”

Jeno pouted, then he felt dread pool at his stomach, “...do they know?”

“That you’re like this because you suddenly realized how hot Jaemin is? Honestly? Even I wasn’t sure, but it was the only reason I could think of. Maybe Haechan knows about it. And Chenle. But Mark hyung and Jisung are oblivious. Jaemin… I think he’s starting to think it’s his fault, with the way he’s been acting lately.”

“Okay, hold up, that was a lot!” Jeno exclaimed, “First of all, I don’t think Jaemin’s hot.”

Renjun groaned, “Oh my god, here we go again.”

“I don’t! Seriously! He’s just Jaemin to me!”

“That--,” Renjun paused, “Is actually kinda sweet. Fine. Go on.”

“Second. Haechan and Chenle? Really?”

Renjun shrugged, “Haechan cares a lot about you. You know that. Of course he’d know. I think he knew even before Jaemin returned. And Chenle’s just Chenle. And Jisung… do I even need to talk about Jisung? He’s too focused on Jaemin anyway. He’s pissed off at you, by the way. Cause you’re making his secret favorite hyung that we all know about sad. And Mark hyung… I actually don’t really know? He’s easy to tease and we all say he’s dumb but I think he knows more than he’s letting on. Maybe he trusts you can fix this by yourself.”

“Sounds like Mark hyung. Okay, last,” Jeno said as he bit his lip, afraid of the answer, “What did you mean by, ‘the way he’s been acting’? Is something wrong with Jaemin?”

Renjun sighed, “He’s… he’s been distant, distracted. Every time you pass us by without so much as a proper greeting, he looks at you like he wants to chase you, like he wants to tell you something. He looks really stressed recently, too. I don’t know if it’s because of you, or because of school, but every time we ask him, he’ll say he’s alright, that it’s nothing. Jisung tries, but Jisung isn’t in high school yet so… I mean, Mark hyung, Haechan and I try, of course. But we just don’t know Jaemin as well as you and Jisung do.”

“Yet,” Jeno added.

“Not yet,” Renjun agreed, smiling, “So can you please get your act together before we lose him? He’s a people magnet, if you hadn’t noticed.”

Imagining confessing in his head, imagining himself baring his soul to the one person who means the world to him, Jeno felt dread pool at his stomach. Confessing was terrifying, but the thought of losing Jaemin because he didn’t even  _ try _ … that was even worse.

Jeno sighed, “Wish me luck, Injunnie.”

“It’ll be fine, Jeno. You’ll see.”

 

 

 

It did turn out fine.

But now Jeno was stressed all the time because people just can’t take a hint!

The two were on their way home and as they walked, Jeno couldn’t help but notice every single glance, every single giggle, ever single stare that was thrown his boyfriends’ way.

“Why do they keep looking at you?? This is stressing me out! I get that you’re handsome and all, even though you’re still goofy-looking to me, but you’re mine! Why can’t they see that?! My hair’s gonna turn gray at this rate!”

Jaemin looked at him in surprise, then he scoffed and said, “Excuse me, Lee Jeno, but I already had gray hair since before I even left. I was so worried you’d find someone else in the time I was gone, worried that you’d forget about me. Good thing you never outgrew your obliviousness!”

“How could I even forget about you, though?” Jeno asked, slightly offended by Jaemin’s lack of trust, “You were my first friend. You were the one who pushed me out of my shell. You made sure I was happy all the time. And I was. And then you had to leave and I wasn’t. And then you pushed me to make friends, and I did and I was happy again but only because of you. All the times I was happy, really, truly happy, you were there. How can I not want to spend the rest of my life with you?”

Jaemin was stunned for a moment, both touched and unable to believe that Jeno was capable of saying such things with a straight face. Then he smiled, gently, sincerely, as he said, “Your happiness has always been mine. Thank you for choosing me, Jeno.”

Instead of blushing like Jaemin thought Jeno would, Jeno just looked confused, “What do you mean, ‘choose’? There wasn’t anyone to choose from except you!”

“What do you mean there wasn’t anyone?” Jaemin asked, incredulous, “This is why I grew gray hairs, you oblivious idiot! If you’re stressed about people talking about my looks, then what about me?! Even before I left… Ah, geeze. Whatever!”

“Jaemin ah! I don’t get it! How could I choose anyone but you?”

Jaemin rolled his eyes and quickened his pace to leave Jeno behind, “Stop spouting cheesy things! That’s supposed to be my thing!”

“Seriously, Jaemin ah! I don’t get it!”

“Maybe if you looked harder around you, Jeno, you’d understand.”

Catching up to the younger male, Jeno pouted, “I don’t want to look. So don’t look at anyone but me, okay?”

Jaemin couldn’t help but blush at that. Embarrassed, because he was the one who was supposed to fluster the other more, Jaemin ran towards their bus stop, leaving a snickering Jeno behind.

“Jaemin ah!”

“You totally did that on purpose! I hate you!”

“You love me!”

“Yeah, well, unfortunately.”

Wrapping his arms around the younger boy as he caught up to him again, Jeno laughed, “Just wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine. Maybe I’ll do it more. It’s fun.”

Jaemin turned his head to stare directly at Jeno. With a serious expression, he threatened, “I’ll break up with you.”

But Jeno knew it was a lie, so he grinned and said, “No, you won’t.”

Jaemin smiled, “No, I won’t.”

 

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! i hope it was enjoyable, at least!
> 
> and for anyone's interested, some head cannons as i was writing this:  
> \- jaemin and jeno have been friends since they were kids. jisung is their neighbor who jaemin took under his wing cause this jaemin collects strays like it's his business  
> \- jaemin had to move to go nearer the hospital, hence why jeno and the rest only met jaemin when his therapy ended  
> \- jaemin left before 1st year high school  
> \- it was jisung who snitched on jeno to jaemin that jeno was moping around and not making friends  
> \- it was a new school, and new people, so jaemin understood jeno's hesitance. he pushed jeno anyway, assured him that his classmates would like him  
> \- donghyuck was jeno's first friend  
> \- jeno was donghyuck's first friend, too  
> \- donghyuck was a quiet kid at first, traumatized when he was bullied in elementary for his weird voice and the weird color of his skin, but having jeno around, having his support, brought him out of his shell  
> \- repressed for a long time, donghyuck made it up in highschool so he and jeno end up in detention a lot of times  
> \- they met and befriended (kidnapped) mark this way  
> \- chenle and renjun arrived in the middle of the school year  
> \- it was jaemin who urged jeno and jisung to befriend the new kids  
> \- jeno and jisung talked about jaemin a lot so that mark, haechan, renjun and chenle all felt like they knew jaemin even before meeting him  
> \- it was xuxi that renjun confessed to!


End file.
